at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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