is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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