I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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