I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize