im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Dignity is for republicans.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
