but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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