haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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