I think i peed on brittanys purse
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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