I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
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