I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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