just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
