dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Randomize