when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Randomize
