O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
