Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
