Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
