Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
