It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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