she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
