the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
