Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Im part way to drunk.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
