Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
