you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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