Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
