my phone needs a breathalizer
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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