You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
