don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
