well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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