I never want to see another naked old woman again.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
