Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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