that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
