i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
