Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I touched a dick in church today
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
