Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
