yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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