I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
