I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Ladies don't puke and tell
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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