She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
