I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
