In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
