i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
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