More tranny stories later!
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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