he wants to bone in the snuggie
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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