so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
