She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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