We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
