Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
