Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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