Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
