there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
