this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
