I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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