I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
