she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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