Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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