On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
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