The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
