I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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