Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
