Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I deserve this hangover.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
