If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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